No matter who you are, you probably experience heightened levels of stress during the holidays.  Even though the holidays may be fun and festive, decorating, shopping, wrapping, baking and parties, in addition to everyday responsibilities, can leave the calmest person feeling frazzled.

Throw an eating disorder into the mix, and the holidays can be anything less than fun and festive.  Those suffering with eating disorders work hard to hide their pain and make everyone else happy.  If you are working on recovery, here are some ways to prepare for the holidays, reduce some stress and enjoy the season:

Identify, ahead of time, potentially high stress times: What situations, people, places, feelings, emotional issues and/or thoughts during the holidays are likely to increase your stress level?  Think back on holidays past.  What do you dread?  Do you do things that set yourself up to be hurt, ridiculed, made the center of attention?  Do you take on too much?

Holidays are often times when people with eating disorders, as well as drug and alcohol problems, relapse.  For those with eating disorders, it is easier to "feel fat" than to feel stressed, depressed, anxious, scared, etc. If you "feel fat" then you may rely on "controlling" what is eaten, whether to eat, how much to exercise, etc. in order to control your feelings. If true emotions are felt, there isn't always a quick way to resolve them but you can tolerate them.

In order to cope effectively, it is important to think ahead and plan ahead.  Once the situations, people, places, feelings, emotional issues and/or thoughts that create stress have been ideiitified, it's time to develop an action plan.  An action plan can be as simple as determining what you will think to yourself and what you will do when or if the stressor occurs.

So, if Uncle Harry feels compelled to comment on how much or how little you are eating and this stresses you out, you can think to yourself "Uncle Harry doesn't understand eating disorders so I am not going to react to him."  You may have to say this to yourself over and over and over.  That's OK.  Your action plan may also include walking away, regrouping yourself in another room, sitting with someone who will support you, calling a friend, leaving the party early or telling Uncle Harry comments like that are not helpful.  Do whatever it takes to keep you recovering instead of relapsing.  Other people will get over it, so don't make their feelings more important than yours.

Be prepared for potential holiday stressors.  You are likely to set yourself up to relapse if you try to "wing it" and hope that you can figure out what to do when you are in the midst of stressing out.

Your holidays will be more delightful if you stay focused on taking care of yourself: That means eating three meals plus snacks everyday (regardless of the party tonight), journaling, going to therapy, feeling your feelings, relaxing and just as importantly, remembering that you are special and deserving of a life without pain and suffering.